Pushing Past Outside Influences; Just Do It

I never knew I had so many flaws in need of fixing til I came
around a church of any sort! And what cures the sickness?
Coming back to the church!

I can't subscribe to a fairy tale belief system of asking and
receiving gifts. Even important gifts are only found through
happenstance or hard work. Life has an abundance of things
both good and bad; everybody has a need and a theory for
explaining life the way they do.

I would never endeavor to change the mind or heart of one
who believes and believes fully. Universe bless you.

It has not been my experience that life can be handled
through release and submission to something outside of me.

In fact, the exact opposite is true. Only through self-reliance,
self-discipline, self-will, and being strong enough to endure
endless pain can I persevere.If not me, then who?

I can't put forth to Jesus or whomever that I just 'trust' my
problems will be solved. Even the followers know they have to
provide hard work, discipline, effort, action, devotion, and
dedication to get their results! So what's the diff? How do sinners
receive blessings and prosperity?

(There are of course magical caveats to "God answers prayer.";
1)that not all your prayers get answered the way you want
2)that the answering of a prayer may not come in a timely fashion
3)that unanswered prayers are a test of faith
4)that sometimes God says "NO"
5)that you aren't praying the right way
etc, etc....keep spinning the wheel til you come up with one that suits
you/is a sign from God.

The power of religion and the business of God are all self-fulfilling
prophecy; one assertion begets the next. If I believe myself to
have no capability or self-control, then I surely won't have it.

Would I like the idea of a Supernatural Daddy that erases tears
and fills me with happiness and peace and promises of another
world where all this is a distant memory? Sure, who wouldn't.

But I have not found this to be the case, no matter how desperately
I have worked towards it. Those who need to believe will of course
say that I didn't work hard enough, feel motivational pain deeply
enough, or have enough faith. That's fine as well.

I can assume three potential possibilities based on others' assertions;

a) That the idea of man's inability to handle his own life was created
as an impetus for promoting the idea of an outside source of worship
((a.k.a.; They lied))

b) That such a creature exists and I am too wretched and lazy and
broken to be able to communicate with or find it; the problem lies
solely within me.

or c) This mystical creature doesn't exist.