The saying goes that something can only hurt you if it's close to you,
but isn't it just as true to say that the 'closer' we are to something
allows it to hurt us?
The more attachment we have to a sensationalized 'need' (whether it
be a person, place, thing, idea, or feeling) the more we are made weak
by a perceived dependence.
I can allow myself to feel directed and controlled by romance, lust, greed,
approval, hurt, neediness, loneliness, lacking, and more. But if I accept that
nothing outside of me has any bearing on me, then lower level emotions like
jealousy, fear, worry, and the like become illusion.
There's nothing wrong with having feelings for other people and allowing
them space --and even significance-- in our world, but we go overboard.
We typically don't have a complete and whole universe where we function
autonomously and others are peripherally intact. We become enmeshed.
We become addicted to one person providing us with the love and support
we feel we need to make it through daily life. We stick to favorite eating
places. We drive the same way home every day. We avoid difference and
newness at every turn.
We start with impulse, which fuels desire, which leads to expectation.
When expectation isn't met, we face disappointment and disillusionment
and the idea that we 'need' to have something we have been deprived of begins.
In order to separate from such a void or become stable, I must eliminate
all expectation and demands from the Universe.
There is nothing promised to me, even basic breath and life. Each moment
that I exist is a miracle of opportunity and blessings that I can see if I
remove the blinders of my limited thinking.
Every person is a potential friend.
Every circumstance could be our last on the planet.
Every beloved person can leave us, betray us, die.
All aspects of the world we live in are ever-changing and fluid;
we can only flow with the rhythm of whatever occurs. Or be broken by it.