If we associate spirituality too closely with specific ideas,
specific groups, specific buildings, and specific rituals, we
lose out on the whole of true spiritual experience.
If we place too much trust or esteem in any one person,
we are building ourselves up for a fall. The humanity of the
individual is not at fault; our unrealistic expectations have
made us prey to doused hope.
The more we practice too much need or dependence on too
few for too often, we are allowing ourselves to fall into a trap.
We become spiritually lazy by looking for regularity and
rigidity and consistency in a world where such things are an
illusion and a deception.
There is chaos and there is coincidence and there is happenstance.
But we have no understanding of the workings of this world. Of what
motivates others. Of what will happen in five minutes, or five days,
or five years. Or even IF there will be something in five minutes.
We are meager creatures at the mercy of the whim of the unseen,
and only by accepting that helplessness and ignorance to we have
a chance of surviving. When I try and fit everything into a tiny and
comfortable pigeonhole with simplistic workings, I hinder my growth.
Whether people act as I think they 'should' or not is not the issue; the
issue is why do I care how people act?
Why do I expect and demand?
Why do I perceive a need that would be met by outside forces?
Why is my mood and outlook affected by the slightest change in external
Why do I not keep focus on my insides alone?
Why do I persist in wanting to control people, places, and things?
Why is my sense of self dictated by others' interest (or lack thereof?)
How do I learn to detach from these bad habits?
There is a happy medium between being obsessed with others and being
There is a middle ground between being controlled by others and having no
use for others.
There can be a balance between never being alone with your own thoughts
and isolating like a hermit.
I want for hurt feelings to be a thing of the past. I want to interact with people
without needing them. I want to understand on a primal level that what other
people do, say, think, etc. are of no concern to me. I want to stop demanding
and start experiencing.
For this to begin, I have to improve the level of questions I am willing to
ask myself about the world I find myself in, and the part I play in it.