Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Why is it that I never make any assumptions about my fellow travelers
that are healthy and progressive and positive?

"I haven't heard back from XXXX...I bet she's involved in a meditation
or is helping someone. I'll send some love and light!" Hasn't tended to

No, most all of our human mind's workings tend towards the negative,
the despairing, the detrimental.

We also bring our own truckload of baggage to everything we 'see' and
interpret; we think we know what is happening because the lie in our head
seems so real and so concerned for our well-being. We perceive reality
through the stained filters of experience, past hurts, expectations,
and pattern. Assumptions.

What if I decided that--short of putting myself in physical danger or signing
away my money--I would decide to fill my heart with love and compassion every
time I did not truly know what someone else was doing. Just assume the best,
not the worst. Err on the side of lovingness. Give the benefit of the doubt.

It doesn't matter what's 'true' or not. We hardly ever know what that is
anyway. But we'd feel better....about ourselves and others. We'd be more open
and trusting and giving. Maybe our continence would bring about a better
reality, too.

What makes me such an expert on another person anyway? I've had 42 years to
figure myself out and haven't made much progress yet. Why is another perfect
complicated mysterious creation somehow able to be summarized into a convenient
soundbite? Doesn't seem fair. Or accurate.

It's merely another example of choosing fear over love when we select a
nefarious assumption of another, or gossip, or roll our eyes to suggest that
something "must be up." Why is it so easy to curse another? Why is our first
instinct not to embrace and love and support...just the way we wish another
would do for us.

Defenses. Fear. Pretense. Selfishness. Competition.

Let me clean up my true bad habits, instead of assuming those of another.


Forgiveness is bandied about a lot in spiritual and

recovery circles. An easily spoken word, often with
long and trying strides at achieving it. Maybe a
lifetime of efforts even.

Forgiveness as a concept certainly makes sense to me.
Manifesting it is another matter.

Even after many years of fighting, I began to see the
insights that holding resentments solves nothing. That
we only further problems and anxiety by holding tight.
That we hurt ourselves more than the other person.

All of that made sense, but the deeply defiant Self
in me would not allow mellowing. Would not accept that
to let go was not making me more vulnerable. My only
defense against unkndness and hurt had been to make an
identity around it, throwing up roadblocks to ever
allowing it to occur again.

(Not that it was particularly successful ploy, but you
know how brilliant ideas go!)

I shut myself off, seeing that as the only option.
Getting back on the bike seemed like foolishness itself.
Letting down defenses seemed stupidity. But it's what I
had to learn to do.
I was throwing more anger and more hate at situations
that had already produced enough. Situations and people
that had originated from such parasites already.

All I was doing with my rage and remembrance and
indignity and pain was continuing my own suffering.
I was now responsible for my own own lacking, and that
was a hard bitter pill to swallow.

Learning that my jadedness had carried with me--put
a shadow over my dealings with all others, colored all
my thinking, kept people at a distance, kept me from
living free or developing--that was equally difficult
to see and then to admit.

But I did. Because I want to be well. I don't want to
be filled with bitterness and complaint and despair.
I want to recognize my brilliance and perfection and
worthiness. I want to stop living in the past and
move into the possibility of now.

I have as much of a future as I choose to have.

If only I am willing to relinquish my vice grip on
emotions. If I can forgive what was done to me. If

I can forgive myself for continuing it.
I disallow room in my world for contempt and

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Free Fall

Where the conflict lies....

We can ever choose to

stay afloat and prosper and win

and be great and be content and be connected....

and even on a bad day it IS

a tremendous opportunity, isn't it?

All the miracles and good we forget...

the ability we have to deal with the 'bad'

we do endure...

You are amazing...never forget...

We are drawing to us every good

and righteous thing,

defended in spirit and mind and body

from all that would do us harm.

This much I know.

If only we will allow it to be so.

Much love, Peace.......

Friday, April 22, 2011

Thomas Moore on CYACYL

Thomas Moore has a lot of great insights about the
more fluid and evolved aspects of spirituality.

Here he speaks on "Change Your Attitude, Change
Your Life" radio show in NYC.

This interview deals with changing your life in
a radical way (finding a calling) as well as other
areas of searching.

If you like his insights, check on his videos, books,
and books on tape. I especially recommend "The
Soul's Religion."

Not all it's cracked up to be

Sometimes our fears manifest so regularly and 'normally'
that we do not see them as detriments, but rather normal
parts of life. Sensible, even. Especially when those fears and
complaints are driven and cultivated by those around us
the world at large.

Humans dislike discomfort and the unknown very deeply.
We have come to see our fear and avoidance of
death, sickness, misfortune, poverty, old age, loss,
despair, or depression as good things. The reality though
is that those 'negative' aspects are part of the fabric of
life. Just another aspect.

It's all part of the same ride, and you can't have one
without the other. Endlessly waiting for the 'good' and
hoping to avoid or ignore the 'bad' has become a pass-time
for many. We create sanctuaries to wall us in.

But we can't sanitize the world. We can't control people.
We can't block out the unwanted and construct the kind
of life that is smooth and palatable. Hardly anyone gets
the life they planned or hoped for, but maybe we can learn to
appreciate the life we get.

Comfort and ease is an illusion. An understandably tempting
and desirable one, but an illusion nonetheless.

Refusing to accept what is as what is leads to a weakening
of the muscles needed in handling pressures and hard

Spirituality isn'--for me--about being high or positive all
the time; the lows and the defeats are part and parcel a
mix of the journey. Being brought low and losing may be
the most powerful means of learning and getting stronger,
but it still hurts like a mother fucker to actually go through it.
There's no getting around pain in order for it to be

We can be sound and satisfied when the shit hits
the fan, but it isn't necessary. Composure is not a
prerequisite for survival. It can get's okay.

I am at peace with my incompleteness.

I am content with not knowing answers.

I am secure that I am not always secure.

The path is open to all variables, and I am
seeking to be open to all of them.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Creating our own world

What if I simply decided that--no matter what--

no matter what....

I would be ecstatic in my life today.
Simply because.

Simply because I deserve it,

and want it,

and embrace it.
Let me get radical

and dictate my own terms.

Peace and love and goodness...

manifestation of every blessed thing.

You and I and all we know are

brilliant beyond compare.

Embrace and know it!


Friday, April 8, 2011

Only one sin

There is perfection within you,
within me,
within us all,

The only sin is not seeing it,
not embracing it,
not acknowledging it,
not manifesting it...
allowing others to diminish it,
to distract us,
to distort us.

All success comes
from accessing our true form;
genuineness, authenticity, light,
truth, powerfulness, insight,
passion, living fully,
attaining the life we were born to live.

We cannot fail if we do
all that is within our power,
wherever we are,
whatever our circumstance,
no matter our fear.

Fear and doubt only dissolve when
we stop feeding them.
Find out the truth about what you can do today.