insight

"She...

was  not  absurd--

the  world  around  her

was lacking...."

***

(written by Ristav, originally in The Blacklist)

***

Emerson nailed it

Perspective

Nobody's ever the same on the inside

as they pretend to be on the outside.


Once you get that reality

entrenched in your mind--

that everyone is floundering,

duplicitous,

fraudulent,

frightened,

a wounded child in an adult's body...

feigning superiority...

nothing can phase you.

Shawn Colvin - "I Don't Know Why"

One of my favorite songs ever, as it beautifully displays both the light
and dark of life (more often seen as grey) and aptly describes the
power of the little things to carry us through the rough patches.

Music has ever been a constant of comfort and inspiration, calling
out those demons that threaten us time and again. Life's messy, it's
murky, and the desperation is sometimes the one connection we have!

Such has it ever been...and that's okay. Peace all!

*************************************************

Des'ree - "Life" video

All of Des'ree's work is upbeat, inspirational, and encouraging...but I like this
one especially in video because of the freedom, the simplicity, the sense of flight
and escapism involved. It's just a good fun ride.

Hope you think so too!
*****************************************************

Phillip Phillip's "Home" cover

I like this young man's charm and seeming sensitivity, and feel like he did a
wonderful rendition of this heart-warming song. Good thoughts, good words,
good sounds....and a nice sentiment during this year that has held a lot of
difficulties for many folks.

Better days.

****************************************************

"I Am Your Reason to Support Marriage Equality"

Macy Gray - "Beauty In The World"

It's been a 'Week,' that's for sure, and I'm really in the mood for some
musical therapy. Here's one of my faves, Macy Gray, with a good,
calming, joy-creating diddy I really love. Peace.

**************************************************

It's Not Easy

This may be the best thing I ever got from my high school

education! It was included in a monthly bulletin or

a class calendar or some such.

And while I have grown enough to recognize that not

all of the naive sentiments included are accurate,

a great many still hold value as encouragement.

Passing it on!
(This is from around 1984)

***

All Within

COURAGE will keep you warm at night....

       Let Ostracism reign;

             I remain unaffected!

                  Being alone isn't Lonely!

There's far too much to do, anyway.

                    ***

"Some Nights" by Fun (covered by Brandyn Burnette)

A very nice cover version of this surprisingly heady pop hit (which I love!)

Nothing like a little self-searching and reflection put to a happening beat!
Enjoy!

**********************************************

Break it Down, Don't Have a Breakdown!

Sometimes...

simple is best.

Less with the demanding,

more with the understanding.

Peace!

***

Beginnings

Overturning domestication and subjugation
is a process...
minute by minute., day by day.

The shackles didn't get attached overnight,
neither will freedom from them occur overnight.

Set yourself free.

Rise up today.

Life's too short to spend it avoiding, being afraid,
living someone else's dream, or settling for less
than you want.

Move forward, without regard to old allegiances
or the distractions of those who don't share your
vision.

Don't hate how it is...
strive for better, and be motivated by distaste.

Accommodation is not acceding. There has to be
some work within the system to achieve independence.

There is much that simply is....and no amount of upset,
countering, or empathy will alter that darkness.

Light a candle for yourself...the one person
who needs it most.

****************************************

Focus is Everything

Pinpoint your agenda

Live not in response to another,
but in full appreciation of one's self
and focused on accomplishing one's own goals.

And if in the process others are supportive,
all the better...but such is not the goal.

Be in the present, not the past;
release the anger from hurts.

Ignore detractors...
the best revenge is staying the course
and reaping the rewards.
You can't rocket forward while veering side to side.

Save yourself from pointless, self-defeating
anger. You will change no minds in confrontation, but
you will draw time and energy away from your needs.

Whose Reality is Real?

Same view; Very Different Interpretations!

There is a difference between those who are 'sane' and those who are 'crazy.'

'Crazy' admits there's a problem.
Crazy shows warts and all.
Crazy asks questions.
Crazy calls a spade a 'spade.'
Crazy stands up for themselves, even when it avails them nothing.
Crazy owns up to the violent thoughts we all have.
   (And then feels guilty about them!)
Crazy wears their hearts on their sleeves.
Crazy people question their own sanity, and thus open themselves to
   other people's input on it.
Crazy identifies and announces their own inconsistencies and fears.

'Sane' people have learned to say one thing, yet do another.
Sane manipulates and cheats and plays the game.
Sane worries about the bottom line, not the method.
Sane makes the rules in public and ignore them in private.
Sane embraces schizoid and duplicitous unhealthy living.
Sane forges ahead, never hesitating, never concerned.
Sane shows no concern or need.
Sane plays the game but refuses to acknowledge the game.

We're all crazy; to exist in this world is to be subject to the
most dire and taxing of psychological, physical, emotional, and
spiritual harangue; it would be crazy if we didn't break and rend
under the pressure.

But our society--our world--is based on pretense of honor and being
'civilized'; in order to gain favor you must maintain the illusion of being
stalwart, upright mankind....while secretly waging war as beasts, seeking
to win at all costs.

Those deemed 'crazy' are the ones who allow themselves to be
identified by others...who are sensitive to the world's bullshit...who refuse
to play the game and act as if nothing is wrong. We know that things
are far from right, and we won't stay silent.

If you can pull it off, you get to claim pretend sanity.
If you fail, drawing attention to the conflict and wanting to end the
charade, you get labeled and pigeon-holed by those who run things.

The asylums, prisons, graveyards, and streets are filled with
people who know and speak the Truth. Despite the ramifications.

*********************************************************

Erasing 'Comfort Zones'

Never Forget

On The Flip Side

I used to believe I was being targeted for attack because
I was especially vulnerable--weak, soft, an outsider, apart
from the herd, little-missed...an easy target.


There's something about a professional victim that makes
everyone want to harness all their fury and and continue
the habitual assault. A vibe they give off, the desperation
and accessibility; a sad, wounded-animal look in their eyes.


Sometimes you turn a corner and new information can
surprise you, though.


Well, revelations surprise you. The info isn't new, it's just
new to you!


Now I know the true reason people targeted me (in addition
to the human race being filled with unrepentant asses, of
course.) 

I know the reason that people were especially malicious,
engaging in acrimonious assaults, going out of their way to
harm or ridicule me, ganging up on me...especially determined
to assassinate my character, draw me into fights, bring me low,
attempt to destroy self worth and financial stability.


These things happened, they happened often, and they
happened more than the average person seems to encounter.
But they didn't happen because I am weak; I was targeted
exactly because I am strong.


Folks spotted the energy in me and saw it as threat; they
sought to destroy a figure they feared before I knew what
was in me and had tapped into it. They saw my aimlessness and
lack of faith and they sought to take advantage of that before
I became who they feared me to be. They were right to be
afraid.


There is a beast of freedom within me, a rapturous demon
seed whose hunger won't be quelled.


Not by any thoughtless drones, or secretive, pious, bitchy,
dichotomous windbags.....not by the disingenuous and huddled
masses of the insecure and the subservient....not by coordinated
attacks of the well-groomed and well-connected.


I am whole, and beautiful in my frightening splendidness.
They cannot affect or influence me or threaten me any longer.
I cannot be controlled.


I am no longer unaware of the power within me, and I know
now that being conscious and embracing this power will only
increase the pointless onslaught of nay-sayers, haters, cajolers,
and assailants. They will be more organized and more determined
and more ferocious, thinking that their unification and self-righteous-
ness will give them favor. It won't.


I am an unstoppable juggernaut, and I have not yet begun to fight.

*******************************************************

Owning It, Warts and All

It doesn't matter how many people are involved
in dismissing me or violating me or
condemning me or cock-blocking me....


It doesn't matter how many apply a double standard
against me, indiscriminately lie about me, sabotaging
my efforts intentionally, remaining wrapped up in their
imbalance and misperceptions and inability to understand.


I will NOT accept their falsehoods.


I will not bow down.


I will not break.


This is a path..I must stay on it, never veering,
never weakening,
never doubting.
(Coming back to center when I do!)

There is no backtracking from this position.


I don't live for anyone else.


There is no averting of my gaze.


No surrendering of my desire.


No quieting my objections to accommodate others
or avoid dissent
or to escape criticism
or out of fear of retaliation.
(I ground myself in these promises every day,
fighting back constantly against the forces that
threaten my well-being.)


I am wholly, holy, me, without regard for Other.


That is not contempt; It is my gift to myself,
and a rational response to a world of conflict,
turmoil, and obstacles


No embarrassment,
no self-consciousness,
no hesitation...

I am free and full and confident and non-plussed...
I will be myself..come what may.

I will not be defined by my mental,
physical, and emotional difficulties,
nor will I deny or be ashamed of them.


My empowerment is as unique as the person I am.

***************************************************************

("Ain't nothing gonna to break my stride,
nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no..
I got to keep on movin'!")
     -  Matthew Wilder, "Break My Stride"                                                                     

****************************************************************

"Every one's got a sob story, sister!"

People aren't entirely bad; they just work hard at it.


I'm not oblivious to the multitude of psychological matters behind
the various means of trying to bring me down. Everyone has a childhood
trauma of some sort lurking about.


Some folks are fearful of anyone who asks questions, goes against the
grain, attempts to expand or change the status quo. For many, change
or difference of any kind is anathema.

Some have no sense of separation between themselves as a person
and their belief system. Any imposition on an ideal, or even simple
disagreement, feels like an attack. They fly into defense mode because
their world is small and their comfort level attached to everything
being 'as it always was.'


Many were themselves repressed and suppressed and blasted for
daring to be themselves...an all too familiar and sad trend in American
society with our crazy overreaction and puritanism in regards to both
sexuality and artfulness. Self-expression is frowned upon still.

They are sadly on a track of mimicking the policing, parental voices
that squashed their dreams. Some out of angry, misdirected revenge,
some from jealousy of others achieving theirs, and some just genuinely,
robotically acting out their learned habits of being a zombie and doing
what others want.

Maybe if they're a good slave, even at this late stage in the game they
will receive the reward and affection they have been seeking all their life.

At the end of the day, however, those targeting you are simply your
enemy, and they're standing between you and yours. If it's 'them or me,'
it's for damned sure going to be me. I can sympathize all day long...
from the winner's circle.

*******************************************************

"Don't Ask, Just (Show and) Tell"

Stop asking permission

to be who you are.

***

You Got to Keep it Separated

We all of us exist in a mutually-agreed upon

arrangement (even if tacitly so) with our

fellow humans, our fellow cities, states,

countries, etc.

There are certain foregone conclusions,

wrapped up in laws and precedents

and what is generally referred to

as 'common sense' that we are all

supposed to abide by and revere.

But not everything shiny is golden.

Not all of the predetermined 'okay'

actions are in fact acceptable, and

likewise not all things deemed the

erstwhile 'inappropriate' truly are.

There are subterfuges and deceptions

prevalent across the board, top to

bottom. It's easier to take things

at face value, to not dig any deeper

or question the status quo.

It's easier to play along and keep

in-step with what others are doing...

following the lead and not making

any waves.

But there is benefit, too, in stretching

the mind...discovering what if fake

and what is real.

(And sometimes, what cannot be

discerned at all, since subjectivity

is always with us.)

We're free to follow whatever course we choose,

but shouldn't we at least know the

difference between the things

we're choosing from?

Just a question.

***

Forge On

No matter the dreariness,

no matter the supposed sacrifice,

no matter the fear...

no matter the work,

no matter the resistance,

no matter the uncertainty.

The only one who stands

by your side

on this journey

is you.

The desires you implement

and the happiness you seek

should also be yours alone.

Don't look for a guide;

become one.

***

Receive it and Believe It

What signs do you pay attention to?

Do you allow the signs and guideposts that

others have erected to be your influence,

knowing that they do not bear your best

interests in mind?

Or do you block out the negativity and

nay-sayers in order to support

and promote your own needs?

What you allow to infest and rest

and manifest

in your mind is what will influence and

lead your thoughts, choices, and actions.

Think carefully about the words and

ideas you allow in.

Defeatism harms no one but you.

Where others fear to tread,

they will attempt to prevent you from

reaching, through stifling or crippling or

insinuating. If you remain open to their ideas.

'Unconventional' is not an insult.

'Unlikely' is hogwash.

'Impossible' is a state of mind.

Follow your own path,

think for yourself,

and be attuned with what signs

you want to follow.

No matter where anyone else is heading.

***

"What doesn't kill us..."

(My 'three strands' are Courage,
Faith in Self, and Resolve.)

*****

There is pain....

make no mistake.

Resistance is not refusal,

but determination.

Reticence is not restriction,

but thoughtful consideration.

Fear is not the end--

just a fact of the matter....

another dissident voice to be

overlooked.

Reluctance is not the final word.

It's the jumping on point.

Weakness has to be trained out of you,

but lack of easiness is not a recipe for

failure. Challenge is the training ground

for all greatness.

While others expect you to be burned

alive or destroyed by the flames' marring,

instead become one with the fire and

rise like a phoenix, reborn.

Everything dies in this world; the

death of our old self and our old ideas

does not bring our life to an end.

Arise.

**************************

Introspection

***

The Only One

Only one person

can know your heart...

so only one person

is capable

of being consulted

for advice

on what is in

your best interest.

Nothing else

is applicable.

Stand firm,

and know thy self.

***

Used-to-be's

I was weak

needy

dependent

vulnerable

repressed

forgiving

naive...

but now

I am mighty

I was confused

but pain

contempt

abandonment

finally seared

my focus and

awareness

laser sharp

I disowned strength--

hidden behind fear

faith

hope

wishes

trust

turned cheeks

and charity...

but now

I am

resolute

and resilient

I am

guilty

of allowing

all that has

accosted me

but

I am

unyielding

now;

conscious

alert

secure

hardened

capable

I won't be fooled

again

***

Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter ...

Some incredible thoughts from an amazingly talented and insightful woman.

Hope you find it as moving and inspirational as I do! (Yes, I'm re-posting it!)

************************************************************

"We Found Love"

Insanely beautiful version of this song!

Watch those smiles and just try and refrain from joining in!

**************************************************

Temperance

The ability to do something

doesn't necessitate that it

should be done.

Wanting something

is not the same as

needing something.

Being able to afford things

doesn't mean we need

to buy them.

Pushing past attraction

and attachment....

see beyond the immediate

and the compelling.

Long-term care for

self over short-term

acquiescence to every desire

and excess.

Moderation,

self-control,

and impulse control

are valuable assets,

and components of

tremendous character.

It's not always healthy

to 'have' everything

we want,

or that is available.

(Even though that's

usually never

what we want to hear.)

*****************

View it, Know it, Change it

I'm reading the Suze Orman book, "Courage to be Rich" now,
and there's a lot of good and interesting stuff in there that applies
to every facet of life.

It's making me reexamine all my old notions and fears, since
understanding them is the first step to overcoming them, and I'm
seeing the world in a whole new light.

A lot of what she delves into is how our self esteem and self-
inflicted persecution can limit us throughout all of life. What's great
is that there's a lot of good spiritual stuff about embracing worthiness
and caring for self, changing attitudes, etc. It's very affirmation
based and a good recommended read for anyone who wants a
better relationship with money in their life!

If you've never thought much about money, or think you don't
have any say-so about how much you have, you definitely should
check it out. Every positive we manifest works to our whole good.

******************************************************

Success

Indigo Girls - "Closer To Fine"

I have a spiritual experience--and a renewed sense of connection
to what's right about humanity--every time I hear this incredibly moving
song. Love the Girls from way back, when they were outspoken before
it was as fashionable, and this is probably my fave song.

It has been inspiration and peace-maker for over 20 years.

It helps to not only know that there are others on the planet now who
understand....but there always have been.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

****************************************************

Strength Training

If we feel weak, we do not become strong by

embracing weakness.

We must embrace and even seek

adversity. By allowing and attacking

situations that frighten and intimidate us,

strength is developed.

Stretching the bounds of comfort and

familiarity are the means by which to eliminate

weaker emotional muscles.

Weakness is not an innate, inborn trait;

it is a learned mindset, a bestowed-upon

ideation coming from lack of experience

or lack of faith in self.

Today, look deep in your heart

and know that you are capable of anything,

absolutely anything, that you have to be.

You can endure.

You can grow.

You can be strong.

You can overcome.

Knowing it leads to demonstrating it.

Start seeing yourself

and referring to yourself

as 'Strong' today.

***

You Get What You Give

The secret to reaching great heights

is not looking down...

and not staying still.

Sometimes the draw of

something familiar and safe can

be more enticing than the call

of a frightening, new prospect.

What has come before--

our status quo--

even when unhealthy,

can be soothing.

But only through stretching and

growing can we experience

all that there is to life.

The contentment and comfort

of staying frozen in place

is not a positive;

to achieve new heights

requires taking risks,

putting yourself out there,

and, sometimes,

being set free without a net!

***

Convergence

That delicate, ever-shifting balance between

'warding off wolves' (both inner and outer)

and

'making peace with this insanity-fest world of imperfection.'

Is embracing one manifestation of thought

to ignore or betray the other?

Are they compatible?

Or merely intrinsically overlapped

as they flow to and fro, endlessly?

Some days are deemed 'success,' some days...

let's be generous and say

'less than wonderful.'

Others, mostly--

no matter our station or contribution--

are stuck knee-deep in mediocrity.

A brackish mix of back and forth,

vacillating between storm clouds and sunshine.

Despair and contentment and happiness and numbness,

all rag-tag swirled in an unavoidable

intermingled

symbiotic

convergence.

It is what it is.

Ain't no rhyme or reason...

ain't no need to fight.

***

Stephen Fry on Manic Depression (Bi polar disorder)

Some really good assessments and insights;
sometimes just knowing someone else is out there coping
can be enough to instill a little hope!

It is important to note that he admits having a milder
version of bi-polar. But I think he does a splendid job painting
the dire picture of what it's like dealing with the disorder, and
yet keeping hopeful and upbeat.

I especially like his metaphor for weather and moods, and
the method for managing thinking during an episode.

********************************************

Teach the children--and adults--well