I used to believe I was being targeted for attack because
I was especially vulnerable--weak, soft, an outsider, apart
from the herd, little-missed...an easy target.
There's something about a professional victim that makes
everyone want to harness all their fury and and continue
the habitual assault. A vibe they give off, the desperation
and accessibility; a sad, wounded-animal look in their eyes.
Sometimes you turn a corner and new information can
surprise you, though.
Well, revelations surprise you. The info isn't new, it's just
new to you!
Now I know the true reason people targeted me (in addition
to the human race being filled with unrepentant asses, of
course.)
I know the reason that people were especially malicious,
engaging in acrimonious assaults, going out of their way to
harm or ridicule me, ganging up on me...especially determined
to assassinate my character, draw me into fights, bring me low,
attempt to destroy self worth and financial stability.
These things happened, they happened often, and they
happened more than the average person seems to encounter.
But they didn't happen because I am weak; I was targeted
exactly because I am strong.
Folks spotted the energy in me and saw it as threat; they
sought to destroy a figure they feared before I knew what
was in me and had tapped into it. They saw my aimlessness and
lack of faith and they sought to take advantage of that before
I became who they feared me to be. They were right to be
afraid.
There is a beast of freedom within me, a rapturous demon
seed whose hunger won't be quelled.
Not by any thoughtless drones, or secretive, pious, bitchy,
dichotomous windbags.....not by the disingenuous and huddled
masses of the insecure and the subservient....not by coordinated
attacks of the well-groomed and well-connected.
I am whole, and beautiful in my frightening splendidness.
They cannot affect or influence me or threaten me any longer.
I cannot be controlled.
I am no longer unaware of the power within me, and I know
now that being conscious and embracing this power will only
increase the pointless onslaught of nay-sayers, haters, cajolers,
and assailants. They will be more organized and more determined
and more ferocious, thinking that their unification and self-righteous-
ness will give them favor. It won't.
I am an unstoppable juggernaut, and I have not yet begun to fight.
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