Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Peace Staggers Slowly Across A Dirty Dance Floor


Good Morning!

BE YE AT PEACE!

Today, let me choose to not dwell on
my 'problems'--the invariable occurrence
of challenges and undesirable trials.

Let me instead consider my options,
which are always available to me when I
open myself up and change perspective.

Often times, my frustration is that I am
not experiencing total freedom over my
day and my life. What person does?
Is that frustration not partially a result of
unrealistic expectations?

Can't I choose to work on my gratitude,
rather than bemoaning an intolerable
situation? Haven't I the freedom and option
to change things in my life--but choose
not to due to fear, comfort, or other factors
that are uncomfortable to face?

I have made a career of playing victim, martyr,
critic, and cynic. I have nothing to show for it.
Yet and still, I am resistant to becoming
something greater, something new.

My desire for familiarity (and the illusion of security)
has a stranglehold on me, but it has nothing to do
with loneliness, restlessness, career frustration, my
responsibilities wearing me down, or anything else.

Or maybe my sense of comfort and routine is
precisely to blame. How willing am I to let go of
the old so I may embrace the new?

I recall a fable about a fox and a crow....

Peace, Robert

Sunday, June 27, 2010

HONESTY

Good Morning, everyone.

Hope that everyone is clothed, fed, and
at least partially in their right mind today!

Make the most of it today. Remember;
it could all be gone in a moment.
We can be happy with what presents itself,
if we choose.

Best,
Rob

*******************************

Honesty

The world may be brutal and unrelenting,
allowing a concept like honesty to be used
sparingly due to survival needs. (You would
not, after all, be completely honest with
co-workers, bosses, neighbors, etc. lest
there be trouble! Not everything is every one's
business.)

Even in friendships and romance, there are
levels and degrees of honesty and sharing,
as well as appropriate timing and delivery.

But the one place we can't skimp on honesty
is within. If I am willing to lie to myself, it
makes everything harder.

I have some areas where I convinced myself
that my actions were related to survival, even
long after inappropriateness had served its
purpose. Facing that I knew better--and needed
simply to grow up and start getting healthier
about old behaviors--was more of a laziness factor
than an avoidance factor.

But there are things, like my ongoing willingness
to isolate, detach, blame, give up, refuse help,
avoid risk, be attracted to unavailable people,
not care for self, and more....these things I still
avoid looking at because the pain of what caused
them seems too great. I fear letting loose a tiger
that can't be caged.

But being honest and admitting a problem is only
the first step. The action that is taken to face
and overcome old habits is long and difficult. It
is easier to stay in contented misery than venture
into unknown territory. It's scary, the prospect of
discovering a new and unfamiliar me.

But the bottom line is that my life can only improve
by facing what really is. Pretending and avoiding
are not adult coping mechanisms. Truth is brutal
sometimes, but it will truly set us free.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Every Moment Has A Re-set Button

No doubt about it; habits are hard to break.


There is no magic wand or formula for eliminating


old thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns that


have long been in effect. We have to work at it.


Here are some ways that have helped me.






*  I have found to help counter the old


thinking I must detach from it emotionally; stop


allowing myself to believe that the item or person


has power simply because my brain and body are


telling me that they do. I can't always believe my


information.




* Change my activities. If I "always" do a routine


a certain way, it allows my brain to get lazy with


the expectation of continuity. Mixing things up can


keep me on my toes, as well as inspire me and


give me more freedom.




* Give myself some new 'tapes' to play. I'm an


adult; I no longer have to believe what I was taught to


by others who did not have my interests at heart. I


can come up with new ideas to sustain, support,


and champion what is truly important to me.




* New faces, new places. To help be rid of the old,


I find it best to not sit around being miserable, but to


find/create positive new interests to occupy me. This


means starting a class or a hobby, or going someplace


new and risking talking to strangers.


   (It does not mean jumping into bed with people,


starting a new romance, nor replacing recently-departed


Fluffy with a new dog!)




* Challenge myself. When the old crap starts inevitably


resurfacing, seeming all desirable and comfortable, I


don't just roll over and let it back in the house. I grill


it: What did you really do for me? What did I ever see


in you? Why am I afraid to move on and grow? Why


am I willing to backslide and waffle, when I know the


truth as to what is correct for me?




* Acceptance. I have learned that being remorseful, sad,


grief-stricken, angry, confused, hesitant, and fearful are


all natural, valid emotions that pop up from time to time,


even in the most clear-cut of choices. I allow them a place


in my body and don't feel strong-armed to take them as


a sign of bad decisions, nor do I let them rule my day.


I can feel stuff and still be productive and positive.




It is simplicity itself to stay still or revert to type.


Change is a constant struggle, but eventually there is


a pay-off wherein you know you are doing the right thing....


even if no one around you can see it but you. Hang tough,


learn to believe in yourself, and stick to it. When you're


blazing your own trail, there's no longer an easily identified


'norm' to refer to for guidance. You can find what you need


only by going within yourself for the vision and courage you


need.

We All Need The Same Things

Peace & Love from the 9th level, y'all!

Good Saturday Morning....

I hope you all have a beautiful day,

by choice and through Voice,

no matter what circumstances present.


We are all brilliant and unique snowflakes,

capable of great things and much strength,

and no one can take that away from us.

X0, Roberto

******************************

All of us are highly socialized people.


No matter how independent we are,


there is a natural and an adopted desire


to belong, albeit in differing degrees.






We may 'identify' ourselves through family,


similar friends, a cause we believe in,


the support of like-minded people, a


political party, a community, a relationship,


or any of a variety of other methods.






We can even find a form of acceptance


through work, shopping at a certain store,


partaking of a certain brand, following a


popular sports team or t.v. show, or


being part of a religious movement.






All of these are means of being connected


to other people, ideas, or movements, and


it's how we feel complete and normal (even


though neither ever really solidifies!)






We all want and need love and acceptance,


even if we differ in the particulars.


Just for today, let me embrace that notion


before I condemn the methods someone else


uses to find validation.

-Rob

Friday, June 25, 2010

Be at ease....

Hi all...

I know that no matter what our take on things, the world can be a lonely 
place when we follow our passions or heart. No one else can know us, 
so learning how to explore and love ourselves becomes all-important.
Loved this reading I found..hope you do, too.

Peace,
Robert

Just for today, I will  give myself a break. While on my break, I will remember
that others are also 'dancing as fast as they can,' and likewise cut breaks.


******************************************************
(excepted from "The Emotion Machine; Existence & Potential" website)

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
- Ayn Rand

All Knowledge Is Self-Knowledge

When we learn more about our world – whether its astrophysics or behavioral
economics – we build a greater understanding of ourselves. Our pursuits reflect
our values and interests, so I don’t deny that when I do what I love, I am also
separating myself from the whims that others would like to impose on me.
In this sense, following our dreams is a lonely path. No one can do this for you, 
you must be the hero of your world.


United By This Loneliness

I wanted to share these quick thoughts with you in case you were feeling
the same way. Doing what others tell you is easy, pursuing what you love
is the hardest. There will be doubt. There will be loneliness. There will be
signs of weakness and temptations to quit. But knowing that others share
that struggle and knowing that it can be overcome is a power that connects
us all. The world depends on our self-actualization.

********************************************************

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life
is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on,
or blame.  The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you 
alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life 
really begins."   ~Bob Moawad

Monday, June 21, 2010

No Day But Today

Good Monday morning, fellow travelers.

Picture if you will, your idea of what would truly
make you happy; how it would look for you to be
fulfilled and content.

Is the image of your happiness dependent on
the things, places, and people you surrounded
yourself with? Or was it a manifestation of
determinism and inner peace?

What would it take to reach the 'you' in that vision?
If fear were not a factor...
what would you do with your life, starting now?

Peace,
Rob

*******************************
If I wish to be free of pain,
I must first be free of desire.
Wanting, needing, expecting;
these are my enemies.


When I deaden myself to the
ways of the physical world
and those around me, I see
the power that comes from
true detachment, and I am free.

********************************

"But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say
there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks
my pocket nor breaks my leg."

-Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Keeping the focus on the Now

Love this poem!

Some days it's an anthem, and some days it's
and ideal that's difficult to believe in (never mind
achieve!)....but it always rings so true.

If we could just keep the impact resonating in
our hearts.

One of my fave quotes of all time is the great
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. "
(Lao Tzu)

And of course, I also love "Put One Foot In Front
Of The Other"
from the 1970's cartoon classic, Rankin
& Bass' "Santa Claus is Coming To Town."

(Hey! Any port in a storm, baby! I'll take my
inspiration where it comes from!)

*********************************************

"One Step at a Time"
by Joseph Morris

In the morning with the journey all before us on the road,
It takes courage to begin, that is sure;

For the first step is the hardest, and we always think the load
May be greater than we've power to endure.

When the first mile lies behind us we can say, "Now that is done,
And the second and the third will soon be past."

So we trudge on through the noontime, and the setting of the sun
Finds us coming to our stopping-place at last.


When a man would climb a mountain he's appalled to see the length
Of the slope that reaches up into the sky;

But he starts, and with the climbing he will find he's gained the strength
To attain the very top, however high.

For the climbing of a mountain takes but one step at a time--
Who has courage to do that will reach the goal;

He will stand upon Life's summit and will know that joy sublime
Which is his alone who dares to prove his soul.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Saturday June 12

Good morning; Let the sunshine in!

No matter where you go, there you are.
Us, our problems, and our problem thinking.
Running away doesn't solve anything; neither
does sitting on the sidelines. Active participation
has to be the answer.

We're all in a fight for our lives, sometimes
at different points of awareness, acceptance,
preparedness, or responsiveness. We do what
we need to do, we step up, we step out of
self-pity, and we take responsibility.

It ain't nothing but a 'thang'; Just do it!

See a need, fill a need. I know I am a deeply
troubled person who has difficulty being a good
or true friend, so that's an area I need to focus
on improving (or really, developing at all.)
I know I need to be less quick to speak everything
that comes to mind; so responsibility and restraint
become goals. I know I need to get in shape, so what
I put in my mouth and how much I get up off my
ass are real concerns.

Not just thoughts or plans or contemplations;
needs that demand follow-up and action.
This is not a dress rehearsal.

Blessings for all the strength you need this day,
Robert

Friday, June 11, 2010

June 11: Time to change?

Good morning, family.

How would you live if you knew up front
that today was your last day?

Would that argument be as important?

Would you move past discomfort and hug a neck?

Could you find the courage to stand up for yourself?

I hope for all of us the strength to choose today
every good and powerful choice for a better life..
no matter how long it is.

Much love,
Robert

**********************************

Sometimes we have a favorite pair of good quality
shoes. They fit just right, they're comfortable, we
love the way they look on us, they were a serious
value, they offer perfect support, and they have
done a great job carrying us on our journey.

But sometimes we outgrow things; they don't fit as
well when we stretch and grow in different ways.
Maybe our needs are different.

As a friend says; "Don't cry because it's over; smile
because it happened."

When an old idea or belief, a hobby, a place, or
even a person is no longer working out in the scheme
of their original purpose and value, that's just life.
It doesn't devalue what was provided. But sometimes
we have to recognize that things change and stop
expecting the same good to come from what is now
an outdated source of support and comfort.

It's just the nature of life. If you keep wearing a pair
of old shoes that have been worn down, you can actually
do more harm than good. What's the definition of insanity?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Electronic Shackles; Do you 'facebook' more than you tend to your wife?

Good Morning, Family....
shake off the dew and embrace the miracle
of another chance to get it right!
Another day of learning...choices and
decisions that we're able to make.

The other day I heard of a grown man who
said he could not be in a house where there
was no television to watch! It magnified the
dependence so many of us have with keeping
noise in our lives 24/7!

I have been to houses where the television is
blaring so loud that you cannot hear the people.
Their solution is to scream louder; no one considers
turning down the volume on the sacred boob tube
(or, goodness forbid; turning it OFF!)

Many people keep themselves constantly bombarded
by the noise and messages of talking heads, music, news,
gossip, videos, games, etc from a variety of sources.
But it's healthy to be alone with yourself, your thoughts--
communing with something greater. Quiet is good.

It's vitally important to shut off the world--and even the
voices of the people we love-- and have some time for
ourselves and soul-searching in the day. Meditation, prayer,
insight, communing with nature, contact with our source;
all needed to counter the constant influx of outside ideas.

With the electronic overload, we're 'in touch' anytime,
anywhere. We get consumed by the convenience and habit,
and forget an old adage; Just because we CAN do
something doesn't mean we NEED to be doing something.

How important are all those text messages?
Cel phone calls?
Facebook posts?
Tweets?
Are we spending too much time doing what everyone else is
doing, and losing track of what might be more important?
Are we blindly reacting instead of actively determining how to fill our day?

Do we ignore the live human beings in front of us for the 'demands'
of an incoming text message or call? Are we even remotely aware
of the lack of social graces involved in ignoring a guest? (Um, brain
surgeons 'on call' are immune to those standards!)

Are we taking the time to consider the impact of our words in our
correspondence...or is the electronic separation from direct contact
making it easy to ignore feelings? Forget that our virtual contact has
real-world consequences?

Escapism can become its own lifestyle. Hypnotic. Addictive.
TV Dramas amp us up. The news depresses. Pointless info,
gossip, dread, bad news...it all gets entered into the gray matter.
It has an impact. We carry it around with us--are influenced by it.

If the news makes you angry...consider not watching it.
No law says you have to. If you can't find good music on the
radio, listen to your own stuff. If you're feeling stressed and
overwhelmed, pay attention, and listen or watch something
soothing and comforting. Or, consider unplugging it all....and
finding another method to help calm and cope.

If we're not careful, machines will govern our actions,
instead of us governing theirs.

Just saying....
Much love, Roberto

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Are my foibles so small?

Received this poem not long after the idea
came to me that ALL the things I find
intolerable in others (anger, 'stupid'
decisions, habits, etc) are just different
versions of the same things I do when
I am doing my best to get by.

Everyone is just doing the best they know how.

Seems weird it took this long to really
see that; I hope I'm not fated another
40 years to incorporate it!

Enjoy...

*********************************

We should behave toward our fellow human beings as if they.......
Were born, and will grow old, suffer and die, like us
enduring the wheel of existence, of samsara
Living under the power of attachments, like us
Subject to desire, rage, and delusion, and
Careless in their ways, like us
Having no idea why they were born, as we have no idea
Stupid in some things, as we are sometimes stupid
Indulging their own whims, as we indulge ours
Wanting to be good, perhaps prominent, even famous
Taking advantage of opportunities to take advantage of others, like us
They have the right to be crazy, to get drunk, to become obsessed
They are ordinary people who cling to this or that, as we do
They are under no obligation to suffer or die in our place
They are our fellow citizens, in secular and spiritual realms
They behave sometimes in haste, carelessly, like us
They have the duty to be responsible for their families, not for ours
They have the right to their own tastes, their own definition of well being
They have the right to choose (even their own religion) to suit themselves
They have the right to share of public resources equal to our share
The right to be insane, in the world's opinion, as do we
The right to seek our help, and pity, and compassion
The right to our forgiveness, depending upon the merits of the case
The right to be socialists, or liberals,
To think of themselves before they think of others.
They have the right to every right we claim, to live in this world.
Could we all but think this way, conflict and discord would not arise
Buddhadasa Bhikkhu

Thursday, June 3, 2010

June 4, 2010: Fathers--Panaceas, Pariahs, or People?

Good morning.....
Have a blessed day, my beloved Family!
Much love to everyone.
-Roberto

******************************
So I've been thinking a lot about maturity
(don't laugh!) and the whole developmental
process lately...prior to the ridiculous
'designated days' for mothers and fathers to
receive special attentions, actually.

I wonder what sort of preparation are we
supposed to be getting for becoming adults?
What qualifies any of us to start playing dress
up and conducting ourselves as authorities?
I know I'm in a constant state of trying to keep
my fool head above water....
piecing it together blindly as I go! 41 years old?
How'd that happen? Where's all the wisdom
and security and understanding I assumed
came automatically with age?

It seems that the more I know, the less
I truly understand.
Police, teachers, cashiers, the idle rich;
we're all just playing roles in the Big High
School of life. We're cemented into social
positions we have chosen (or that were
chosen for us.) There are certain allowances,
certain restrictions. Mostly we all respect
the boundaries...and there are consequences
when we don't.

But what is the difference between someone
ill-suited for a customer service job and someone
who works at one? An ugly smock and a name tag?

What prevents a mediocre doctor from operating
in the same hospital as a brilliant one? The right
last name? Most stuff is random. There is no set
pattern to "how things end up."

"It could all be otherwise," as a fave philosopher
was wont to say.

For those who become parents, it seems mostly
to be an "Uh-OH!" kind of enrollment. I have
not heard many people say "Man, we were
hoping she would get pregnant." Most
pregnancies--and to be fair, by extension,
most marriages--are the result of unplanned
circumstance.

So I'm seeing the idea of a parent not being
some person on a pedestal who is owing
answers and standards and perfection to
anyone
. They're just poor schmucks
who are responding to what's been put in
front of them...struggling to get by the best
they know how....hoping that they can find
a balance between 'doing the right thing' and
not selling out self. Blindly feeling their
way through it.

Just like the rest of us.

Wondering..."How did this become my life?"
perhaps. Life rarely ends up being what we
expect or plan for. A 'concept' as to what a
parent is 'supposed to be/do/think/say"
etc is not a contract. Each person carries
with them their own vastly different set
of needs and wants. It would be impossible
for the people who end up in the same
household to get those wants and needs
aligned to everyone's satisfaction.

I don't want to fight. I don't want to
blame anymore. I want to hold a peaceful
thought for others and what I perceive
to be their 'shortcomings' as I want for others
to forgive my 'idiosyncrasies.' Funny how
that balances out.

A father is just a man. Just another person
on the planet. Flawed, blessed, crushed,
potent. Different labels on different days.
When do we decide to just let people be
who they are, and love them regardless?
When do we learn to love ourselves enough
to not be identified through a relationship to another?

Meditations for Balancing Independence/Not Codependence

* Establishing boundaries doesn't involve
bashing others.

* Be kind. To yourself and others.

* There's no need to 'lose your mind' and
walk away over one thing.

* Don't throw the baby out with the
bath water.

* Remember that there were reasons you
grew to love someone.

* Don't dwell entirely on negatives; don't
ignore real issues, either.

* Take the good with the bad.

* Cease fighting; let it be. I don't have to
own or internalize conflict.

* A resentment only has the power over me
I choose to allow it to.

* Don't respond in anger; nothing good comes
from it.

* Hold a volatile reaction in check; count to 10
or walk away.

* Resist the urge to say EVERYthing you feel;
overly gushing or overly critical.

* It isn't a requirement that I understand
anything.

* It isn't a requirement that I make anyone
understand anything.

* Be less sensitive. There's more to the world
than how I feel about something.

* It's just another person's opinion, It doesn't
control me in any way.

* I am in charge of my life; how I feel, how I
respond, whom I interact with.

June 3, 2010: LETTING OTHERS SEE

Good morning, family!

Hope everyone is weathering the insane weather this week!

I used to love a good thunderstorm, but Damn! Could I be inside
when one hits... just once!?

Best wishes for a glorious day......
One Day At A Time!
(Or for the truly challenged among us...like moi--
One Millisecond at a Time!)

Hang in there...
Love, Robert

*****************************************

I wonder what it would take for us all to be capable and
comfortable of shedding our masks? Just completely
exposing ourselves to those around us....removing all
pretense, posturing, and artifice.

Many say that we have a public and private persona for
self-preservation; that there is a psychological and
sociological purpose to such fronts..they are healthy.

But I see the opposite in play. I see a world of people
who are busily competing with one another to appear
tireless and unaffected. I see people who smile hollow
smiles and let no one in, while right next to them is
someone suffering from the same dilemma.

If we opened up to express our true concerns, our true
selves, we would see that isolation, loneliness, despair,
money worries, health problems, parent issues, and the
like are universal. We feel dehumanized as a result of thinking
we are unique--or ill--because of the ideas and feelings we
experience.

Even in controlled environments where sharing is permitted
and encouraged, there can be a staged atmosphere.
The level of trust and intimacy is dictated by the energy
of the group as a whole. "I'll show you mine if you show me
yours" has to start with somebody to get the ball rolling, and
often times no one is willing to bite the bullet and start.

I had a horrendous day yesterday. I survived it; I was
victorious...but the feelings I went through were painful,
and I didn't want to make myself further vulnerable by
expressing my short-comings to others. But I soon found
that others--remarkably enough--were having rough days
of their own. Perhaps if I share my low points, others
can remember my pain and know that they are not alone
when they experience theirs.

I doubt myself. I wonder what my purpose is--or even if
I have one. I question whether anyone truly loves me, no
matter how recently love has been expressed. I get angry
at the injustice in this world. I resent foolishness and other
things I can't control, even as I understand I can do nothing
about it. I hate being weak, powerless, and ineffective.
And then I beat myself up for not measuring up enough to know
how to do better..."like everyone else does!" (Yeah, I get that
magical thinking, too.)

I want to understand why things happen. (I want to be able
to let go of needing to understand why things happen.)
I wonder why I can't seem to catch a break? Then I wonder
why I can't be content with what I have. Sometimes it all feels
like a never-ending cycle..and I just want to step off the
not-s0-merry-go-round for a moment...reassess
whether I even care about that damned brass ring any longer!

If we all talked about such things...perhaps we would feel less
apprehension and defeat when we start to experience such
disheartening circumstances and emotions. To know that
others have been through this.....have endured.....have seen
light on the other side...it can be a beautiful thing. To remember
that we are not alone in this journey is an incredible blessing.

Today, I will remember that everyone I meet is fighting with a
terrible battle.
Today, I will share my experiences so that others know they
are not alone.
Today, I will be strong and know that there is nothing that can
occur which cannot be endured.

Let me embrace peace; it's only life, after all.
My problems are only as important as I allow them to be.

Namaste

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Adult Children and their tendencies

The 13 Characteristics of Adult Children
by Dr. Janet G. Woititz
"Adult Children of Alcoholics was originally written with only children of alcoholics in mind. Since its first publication, we have learned that the material discusses applies to other types of dysfunctional families as well. If you did not grow up with alcoholism but lived, for example, with other compulsive behaviors such as gambling, drug abuse or overeating, or you experienced chronic illness or profound religious attitudes, or you were adopted, lived in foster care or another potentially dysfunctional systems, you may find that you identify with the characteristics described here. It appears that much of what is true for the children of alcoholics is also true for others and that this understanding can help reduce the isolation of countless persons who also thought they were "different" because of their life experience.
Janet G. Woititz
Adult Children of Alcoholics - The Expanded Edition



1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.

5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Portioning, Not Procrastinating

Good morning all!

Hope everyone has a lovely Hump Day;
being 'in the middle of something' can be
a grand thing!

May you have greater strength than
you realize, deeper love than you think,
and more patience than you imagine...
just for today.

Much love,
Roberto

*********************************

If I don't take care of messes immediately,
they tend to become worse. And when I do get
around to addressing them, they are more difficult
to rectify than if I had knocked them out right away.

Think of dirty dishes left in the sink....
a spill that dries on the carpet...
a tear in clothing that gets larger....
a stain that sets in.

The same is true for life problems.

Hurt feelings that are not addressed...
relationship matters ignored....
job conflicts or complaints simmering....
unhappiness with a living situation...

If I leave alone some issue that is
vexing me and needing my attentions,
the tendency is that it grows worse.
Even if the problem is merely that my
emotional state of distress in dreading
the problem increases, that is a significant
(and avoidable) matter.

Instead of allowing uncomfortable situations
or pressing issues to fester, I can do some
damage control. Some problem-solving is better
than none.

It may be advantageous to look at an issue
in terms of small steps or segments; what one
thing can I do to start with? Portion it out.

If I have a health issue I have been avoiding,
maybe I need to start by addressing what's
scaring me. I can talk to a friend about my fears,
or I can set up an appointment with a doctor
for a consult, or I can do online research to
alleviate concerns.

The point is that we can always do something,
and it needn't be an absolute solve of the issue.
We can break it down into manageable chunks
instead of being Supermen and Wonder Women
and trying to 'fix' everything in one fell swoop.

When I used to clean very poorly managed homes
and businesses, the crew would start complaining
and feeling overwhelmed about taking in the entire
property and how god-awful the task was.

I would simply say to them, "Just pick someplace,
and start."

Procrastination can make any problem seem
larger or more formidable. If we only had more
confidence in ourselves, our abilities, the universe.....

A house won't clean itself. Despairing over its
filth doesn't help. We just pick a room, pick
a job, pick a corner...and start.

Like the song says; "Get to the point;
Begin to begin."