July 27, 2010

It's hard to remember that there is more to this world
than what we see. When people are acting disrespectfully
or ignoring us, we look at the external action. (We tend
to forget that inside a person's head, there's a whole
other world, and we aren't privy to it. We don't know
someone's motives or feelings.)

Likewise, we're all limited in our interpretational skills.
We see the world how we have come to think of it--
how we expect it--not how it truly is. We all project
and expect and deny....we tend to see others through
a filter of our needs (whether they are being met, or not.)

Instead of assuming that someone is as rigid, mean, or
dismissive as we imagine them to be, what would happen
if we stepped outside ourselves for a moment and opened
ourselves to more possibilities? Allowed that maybe they
are deeply pained and afraid, and handling things the best
they know how?

Think for a moment about how much of our lives and
thoughts are unknown. Think of how much most of us expect of
others in terms of wanting our needs understood  (even
without being communicated.) Remember how we have been
shaped by every incident that has gone before....all the pain
we carry. Now realize that every person on the planet has this
same history, this same internal world...because they do.

This is not about comprehending the specifics of another
person. This is about being in a place of understanding and
self-respect; that we can appreciate ourselves without need
of another doing so, and we can compassionately allow another
to be wherever they are in life.

Much love,
Robert

What do we do with 'independence' now?

 Good morning, family....

At the start of another week,
let me be aware...that
Goodness, strength, and inspiration
are not specific to honored institutions,
authoritative books, powerful figures,
or hallowed halls.

Blessings and courage can be found on
the sticky-stained floors of public
restrooms, in the midst of a jeering
mob of doubters, and in those dark
moments of deepest heartbreak and fear.

Truth and light are in everything at
every time...everywhere. If I drown
out the distraction of circumstance
and fatalistic emotions, if I step outside
my dramatizing hyper-sensitivity....I can
find a center that is at peace.

I hope that we could all carry that
understanding with us today.

Peace,
Robert

Soldier

I am whole, complete, and perfect just as I am

I do not require permission to exist

  nor to live my life as I am intended

I am unaffected by the ideas & actions of others

I am wholly me, without sensitivity to others' 

   demands;

it is not my job to care for the needs of others.

I stand fast for my beliefs;

I am beholding to none, nor am I anyone's 

   doormat.

I say what I mean

I am creative and uninhibited

I am unashamed of my true self

I let no person steal my joy

Speak your mind...

Be compassionate, but not at expense of self....

Don't buy into the lies, no matter how many 

   participate...

What does it matter what another thinks?

What does it matter what another does?

Don't waste time on anger and jealousy....

Be passionate...

don't hide your love to please another....

Spare no time for meaningless pursuits...

Ask for what you need...

Risk reaching out to another....

Release burdens...don't carry them around

Fight for yourself; no one else can.

Find the Center

Will anyone be the least bit concerned
about how dour or serious I have been?
Has my heartache and discord affected
anyone but me in the scheme of things?


Let go....relax....enjoy.
It could all be over at any moment.
This is all whatever I choose for it to be.


Blocking out people and life and chance
means blocking out goodness and joy
and possibility.


I am open to everything...
(work in progress...my choice for this day)...
I hold on to nothing.....
(in this moment, one decision at a time)...
It will all be exactly as it needs to be;
it couldn't be anything else.


Good, bad, indifferent....
Regardless of my reaction,
life rages on.


Most times, I can only affect my responses.


Release the Past
Believe in the Future
Live in the Present

Independence Daze

"Freedom's just another word for 
'nothing left to lose.'"
-Janis

The perpetually grueling task before me is that I must be
focused on the changes needed in me, instead of finding
fault in my brother or sister's actions. Wah! It's so much
easier to critique others and feel falsely superior!

Here goes.

My lack of socializing has led me to be defensive. I tend to
blame others for imagined indignities when in fact it is
my own internalized conflict, lack of confidence, discomfort
in a crowd, or other dis-ease that is likely the culprit.

If the spotlight is off me, I get frustrated and angry. I don't
consider that what others share is equally as important to
them as mine was to me! How could it be? I didn't find their
sharing significant; how could they? Certainly it couldn't
compare to what I was offering!

I'm having a bad day and need some TLC? What better way to
express that than acting like everything is fine..but boiling
inside because no one is reading my mind to know what I want
and need! And then isolating and stewing on it further rather than
seeking someone out and asking for what I need.

I'm still that scared little boy inside, who would rather pick up his
marbles and go home, avoid humanity altogether, or end a
friendship rather than address what's really going on. The false self
I learned to project to the world for protection worked, but the time
has come to let down walls...even a little. Even if only selectively.

I have so little faith in other people. Some of it's justified, based on
how I have been done and how people still are. Some of the apprehension
is from my unrealistic expectation that other people be the perfect
and sympathetic servicers of my needs, 100% attentive and available
24 hours a day. Not meeting those standards is grounds for 'failure' in
my sick mind, even though I myself am not that good to anyone else.

Knowledge and understanding is the key starting point. I have to be
aware of an issue before I can improve on it. Hopefully, learning to
release my demands of others and allowing them to be who they are,
in conjunction with taking responsibility for 'my part in things,' can lead
to healthier interactions.

People can't love me if they don't know who I am.

Have a safe and happy Independence Day, all.

Much love, always (even if I'm not well enough to show it).... Robert