Wednesday, October 20, 2010


As the illusion of comfort and security continues to seduce,
the call of the wild is finally breaking down my last bits of
resistance to the free-flowing, formless wonder of life.

The unexpected, the unplanned, the undesired, and the
uncomfortable are all an equally important part of the great
tapestry. Detaching from the avoidance of pain, separating
from the notion of 'bad' or 'good' experiences... takes some
hearty practice.

There is just life, in all its gory glory. It is all things equally.
If I want to change my 'luck', I must change my perspective.
Only by assuming that wonderful things will happen as I enter
the Void will those things be allowed to occur, shaping and
embracing my growth. If I fear and despair, I have already
decided what my experience will be.

There will be moments of doubt, desperation, disillusionment...
absolutely. But to ignore the golden moments in anticipating them
destroys the very balance I need.  Visualizing where I want to be--
and being okay with not knowing exactly how I will get there--are
just two steps I am getting comfortable with.

Or, rather, getting used to being uncomfortable with. I bought into
the fantasy that the right ______ and enough of _____ would make
me happy and safe. I feverishly denied my own awareness that the
conforming I did was the means to fulfillment. But I know enough to
know that only I can see my necessary path, and only I can take the
steps that will lead me down it.

We make our own luck.  I decide, I plan, I act, I change my attitude....
and then I bend with the alterations life brings, as the path invariably
changes mid-step.

I detach from expectations....of life, of myself, of others...and I am not
in free-fall. I am lovingly pulled forward into a new realm of endless
possibilities. The more I question what I  have attached myself to, the
greater my life becomes.

No comments:

Post a Comment