May 30

"THE TRUTH WITH MOST OF US
IS THAT WE WOULD RATHER
BE RUINED BY PRAISE
THAN SAVED BY CRITICISM."
-Norman Vincent Peale


Today, I'm thinking about the role of friends in our lives.


Everyone comes to friendships with different needs,
desires, expectations, or ideas of what a friend is...or isn't.
There are different types and levels of friendship;
sometimes two people in the same friendship have different
ideas of how deep the love is. That's just the nature of things.


But, I ask who else besides a true friend can speak bluntly
when need be?


To me, the role of a friend is adviser, confidant, cheerleader,
and occasionally... balloon buster. We all have our blind spots
about certain character defects or habits that no one but a friend
would be courageous--or compassionate enough--to reveal.


The information could be as innocuous as us having spinach in
our teeth or having an unzipped fly. (Good looking out!)
It could be the ugly truth that we have a drinking problem,
or we have bad personal hygiene.


No one wants to be the messenger;the one to bring potential
shame or hurt to a friend...not if their heart and motives are correct.


But if not a friend, then who? Should we watch as a loved one spirals
out of control or suffers consequences. Can we convince ourselves
something is 'obvious,' and wait for a change to occur naturally?
Isn't it possible that's why we're in that person's life?
To help them see something they have overlooked/can't see?
If our friend were drowning, would we stand on the sidelines and say
"Surely they see that there's a better way to prevent that?"


Of course, tact and timing are crucial elements to imparting
our concerns; too often I have waited until a fight to lash out
with my understandings. Bad idea.


But OH! how I wish people had come to me and told me of some
things that would have benefited me...instead of talking to others
or stewing! Who knows how much pain could have been avoided?


Do I have the courage to seek a friend's ear today with a matter
that's been weighing on my mind? Am I open to hearing the loving
concern of another when they step up to the plate to speak with love?


Have a great day...
Love, Rob